Is true love just once in a lifetime?

I read this line in one of my favourite song from Someday we'll know, A walk to remember.. I look at myself.. Should I say yes or no?

Of course I would like to say yes! but I preferred not to cheat myself.. At least myself.. So I try to figure this out.. Almost 90% people of this earth not extactly got married to their first love. So are they actually faking?

Most of guys are telling, the first girl they slept with full of passion, love, desirous and trust are true love for them. And they describe that girl should be their future wife. Because of some reasons they had to accept the follow on and they still can't feel the same feeling with their current one as before because they believe the pain still there and it's will remain forever. And here these people are saying the true love is once in life.

There's few people are saying, true love depends on their partners. If their partner is ok and yes we will be faithful then yes this would be true love or else we also will play as they doing. After all love only what?? What #?!*+ is it?

Most of girls are saying, their first love although it's just a puppy love, they considering it is a true love. They saying it's very hard to forget those memories. But we're happy with our current life and we're appreciating it but still find my true love was when I was small because that was without any expectation.

Well the rest people are saying love just lust and there's no true love. Because love never exist at all.

- I totally disagree with this statement. Because if love doesn't exist what am I to say for the feeling that I have for my mother, brother, sister, teacher, cousins and etc?

In my definition, true love which makes you regret you even single second and make yourself struggle to forget things, got out of idea of next step about your relationship.. No matter how many time you fall in love.. But when you feel it, that should be worth. The love which mean world for you and new inspiration.. I would say that should be true love and pure love which you never had on anyone else before...

p/s : The one who really straight wouldn't have bothered about true love because what they know is love and not fake. And of course they will confuse.. So how many of you have not confuse but have confess ...?

A girl.

I don't want to write about this if I am not "required". Well I find this topic kind of difficult to discuss about since I am a girl. Ladies / girls should know, how to being a lovely and responsible girlfriend but somehow!? they unable to be a right partner for their loved one. There's a saying, "For a woman; all other man are perfect expect her husband and for a man his neighbour is a perfect wife expect his own"

I wonder how could a guy wrote that :) There should be a REASON. So let's we see what other woman and girls doing out there until these man could spilled those word towards us!

How a girl suppose to be?

A girl should be a most lovely and understanding for man. Not only in term of psychically but character wise. Guys simply just like kids, they not only need a girl who can cook and doing household thingy for him. He needs someone who can be his good pal, good smile face, clean and neat and etc. He wants someone who can adopt him without changing him at any tiny point. Just don't regret if he go after another woman who is attractive just because you couldn't cooperate with him.

Please understand him well and take your sweet time to know him. If you really sure that you knew him well, then start talk about the things that you don't want him to do which is ruining your relationship; don't simply ask change this and that. He may feel so tied! Even I don't like that kinda fuss! Don't ever shout at your man, if he keep quiet, it's good for you! Basically guys do not appreciate anyone shouts at them. And stop (if you doing) finger point at him!! This one of bad habit of girls which any guy don't encourage at all. This shows you don't have respect enough in your relationship and also your partner. So try to respect him.

Try to forget things. This is really important to discuss here. Your partner would have done huge, unforgivable stuff but if he stops doing it or don't want to think about it, just respect his space and do not condemn afterwards. Try to forgive it as he pleased you (if) and continue your happy life. Don't ever dig his past stories again inten of hurt him. That will be very hurting for him, at the same time he will loosing hope in you ( definitely!!). It's you who decide your life; with him. So beware with words.

Understanding is not really simple thing as the word's sound does but nothing wrong on try to be an understanding girlfriend, right? Just do that. Don't ever assume things by yourself and make things worse. So be practical and factual in relationship. Guys never want to be an explainer in mid of room / hall. You don't have to ask him too. And (at last) if you would like ask anything, don't ask him while he is eating, watching television or sleeping. He can be very tired. He need good meal for full his stomach. He need good entertainment to forget nasty things happened out there. He need good rest too. So you can have your questioning session before he going to bed. Make it in polite and manner way. Don't ask question as if he owing you. Try to respect his privacy and ask things in mainly. You may ask him in details if it's (only) necessary. When things going smooth you don't have to be so harsh and rude. That not going to sort anything but make situation worst. So watch your words and body languages.

Respect his wishes and privacy. Don't be too selfish, everytime and everything must not be your wish. He is your partner; means, he reserved half rights of you guys life! But what exactly happening out there? Try to ask yourself , if you are right? End of the day you would have lived his life and he wouldn't have live at all after. And you don't have to wait until end of the day to see some worse scenario. He will be very bored and tired of your thingy even mid of your life. There's a lot of chances to run away from you. Or making up personal affair with some other girl. The most painful thing is living our own life like a deadbody. Like a doll. He might not have the passion that he had for you once but living with you for a sake of anything. Trust me, you will feel that. Don't make him feel that he's living in fake and don't make his life miserable. Give him privacy and let him go with his friends once a month or twice a month. Don't ask him what he did there and what they talk; guys have 101 story to talk about, they speak many stuffs which you may not appreciate (that's not his problem) so when he tell you, try to enjoy it (although you don't like it) and don't end the nice memory that he had with his friends, another poor day of his life by arguing.

Love his family. One of important part. I don't understand why girls need to fight with their partner's family who is actually her family? If you can't adopt them, you don't have to have a partner then. He spent and will be spending another 20 years them, so you should respect them; because of them he brought up as a charming boy, in the way you like. So respect them and give them attention as you doing for him. Stop wary about everything. Respect them. Love them. You don't have ask for your man's love, he will be ready for you anytime if you are ready for his family. Guys always has good attachment with his family. If you are half of his wishes, you should able to love them. If you unable so, that will make him feel strange and end of the day he need to hide everything from you especially about his family. And you will be the last person who will know things! You want to be out dated from your own family??

Simply, a girl must be completely ready to accept an imperfect man into her life with all her patience. Yea, this what I love to do, I will note each and every step of him. because I love him! The way he drives, the way he talk, the way he taking things and I tell you you will never felt wanted to scold him if you does that. Basicaly guys has the "possessiveness" little bit and don't make it hugeee by your fucked up dressing style and the way you treats other guys. Remember your man is next to you so you don't have to tell him that the other man damn hot or what. It's just comment but you might not appreciate if he says "she's hot" and pointing at your friend, tell you what you can't accept it. So be a good girl with your man. If you able to earn good name from your man it's more than enough and you can be whatever you want to be. Because a third person who came to life and his word...should be right!!

There's a lot of thingys out there. If you want a man who listens to you then you have to be lady who able to (at least) hear from them. :)

"Expectation is acceptation". So if you expect something from him try to accept from his too!!

A girl who trying to do this..

A man.

A man..

How "he" should to be?

From my viewpoint, he should be a man. A man who is with broad minded, hearted. The girl must feel he is everything and nothing else other than him. He should make the girl feel he is the begin and ending of everything in her life. He must make a situation that nothing else without him, so he should be the first and last in this world, for her. He should be very patient with all her act. She can be nagging, irritating, torturing, possessive, cunning and whatever but he should accept her for what she is. Being loyal is not easy but we have to be one! So try to be loyal with your girl. Be sincere. Don't act like gentlemen in front of her but condemning her at her back. Be lovingly partner for her.

Make her feel that she is special. Don't think people are watching out there. A person who don't have enough trust in his relationship (even) will not walk with hand in hand so give her some confidence. Make her feel that she is adorable. She will be the best thereafter. At least she will try to be the best nor like you wanted.

Be truthful with her. Don't lie to her. She will know. It's true. Guys not good in lying. He could be an expert liar but with the girl who realy loves him, he can't "perform" well. Don't hide things. Anything!!! Your secret will lead problem later!! It's not too late for you to tell her off whatever shit you have done so far. Don't worry she won't leave you. Don't ever try to cheat her if did any, don't ever let her to discover it. You are hurting her with all you can!! Yes you do. So before she discover them , it's good for you tell her off what you did. If possible don't do anything once attach with the one you really wants.

I knew it's may take some times for you adopt a girl in your life. Until then don't "expect" anything from a girl called your girlfriend because she is not your sex doll. She can be the worst girl and ever and you have no rights to make her use. Only if you adopted her as your part then you may next step of your relationship. Same, if you not willing to spend with her then don't have psychical contact with her. She gave all her everything to you and deserved the better from you. If can't, don't commit yourself into sex life with a girl. Don't make a girl feel that she is useless shit by being with you. Most of guys are doing it.

She can be the best and ever but the way he treats her will make her think that she is useless. Don't make her stupid by telling your craps. She knew it. Basically girls are smart. Sometime they knew things better than you do. So don't tell story if you can't keep your words. Tell her the true story with the maximum firm you can. She is a human so should have the sense of understanding if she don't; you made a wrong choice. But most of the time guys use / like to repeat the same thing and over and over. She is not your maid so you don't have treat her bad. She is not your accompanion who don't have any work so respect her time and energy. Ask opinion. You can be Bill Gate's only son, but nothing wrong of asking opinion from a person who spending time with you whatever goes and up. That could stupidest idea and ever but it's ok.

Don't let her in sad and sorrow and you playing counter strike out there. ( Normaly I will do that ). Ask her what's wrong. She might say "fine". But nothing wrong if repeat it until you get the right answer which you think that caused her cry. The reason could be you, don't ask her stupid question as you knew the answer as that is you! So say sorry. Don't act like stranger. Girls will lost hope in you. Be firm in everything. Don't bossing her since you never been the one who so-called partner and all of sudden yelling at her mistake. Don't have to being so formal with your girl. Spill out whenever you feel fishy with her act.

Try to use better words to the one you're going to live with. Being supportive is the best thing you can do and the only thing won't make you feel that you were not lose much if you both not get along. Don't be so practical until she feel no life here. As a man of a girl you should know how to keep a her happy. So give her all her space to talk all her craps. Don't make her hate you because of your neglecting. How busy also answer her calls and reply her message as fast as you can. Don't make her feel that she is lonely while having you as a partner. Don't make her look at her phone every hour, expecting your call and text message. Do it regularly at least she knows you are still care for her.

Try to be responsible partner for her. Do your part without her request. Don't make her appeal stuffs at you. If your girlfriend does, you are not good partner. Don't tease her in front of people. She won't appreciate your act. Both of you have some privacy. Scold her if she making mistake. Scold her in private, because she has something called feeling so don't hurt her in public although there's only few people. Sometimes we can't control our anger, humans natural so you can say sorry to her although you knew you never make mistake. You are telling that just for sake of her.

Be the one who you suppose to be. If you can't be the one please do not waste people's time who really wana live with you. Maybe you are thinking that "she is nice and really can commit with me" but inner you don't know how much she crying and hurting with all your act. One fine day she will say "hate you" when you are not ready to hear it and which you never expect at all. Don't think she is tolerating and will be always, yes she is and the same time she knows that she don't deserved all this. You could be the best man but she have to leave you if she can't stand with your acts and you can't stop her.

You may not aware, the value of something when it's next to you but you will regret once it's gone. Most of time we won't realize our happiness is in her but once she vanished.. That's it... Don't find her.. Don't missed out anything! Don't let anger take part in your relationship and it's you who should lead it!

My reactions would like this..

What is your name?
~~ Uh.. Sahmini.. Nah.. I love anjalee..

What you doing now?
~~ Uhuhuhuhuhuh.. I just wondering..

What you were doing 10 minutes before?
~~ Was on something..

What you want?
~~ Actually I don't know

What you like?
~~ Er.. I never had answer.. :)

The one you love?
~~ My work.. Of course! DHL.. My addication.. :)

The one you wishing for?
~~I don't know. I feel completely incomplete (oxymoronic neh?)

Unforgettable memory?
~~ Days with DHL.. Not only DHL but everything about DHL...

When the last did you cried?
~~ Almost everyday, the one I remember March, 2009 on my mum's funeral. She was a wonderful woman and ever.

Now, what you wish for?
~~ Give me back my mum. I would do anything to get her back. Just once talk to me normal and then she may go back.

Who is your trustee?
~~ The one who look at me with full of love.. And never expect anything from me..

Who is your future would be?
~~ It's me. Now what I want all is better life. I am rushing.

How old are you?
~~22..

Have you ever fall in love?
~~I wish for once I could fall in love completely over someone who may change my life after all..

The first man who made you cry?
~~ Deevan and that was not worth at all.

If God gave you second chance what you would like to change?
~~The God.

You believe in God?
~~ Yupe. Strongly.

Are you religious?
~~ I think so. I can't seeing people are condemning my religion so I should be. Just that respect on my beliefs.

Tell more about yourself?
~~ Hard to predict. Hard to please. Hard to buy reasons. Hard to be satisfied on things. Simple I am stone + down hearted.

What you think about Buddha?
~~ He is a man who never lived in the way suppose to be and left wonderful thoughts for this world.

Where is your worship?
~~ Within me.

Where is your energy?
~~ My eyes. Your smiles.. Trust me, whenevr I gained smile from people I feel like I had a nice sweet sherry.. :)

Who deserved second chance?
~~ No one. Because it's just another chance for them to do the same mistake again.

What you would do if your ex would like to get back to you?
~~ I told you there's no second chance.

Will this goes to your current boyfriend?
~~ I don't have one, wish I don't have any in future..

Tell more about your current relationship / past ?
~~ Strange. StrangeR. Practical. Factual which I don't preferred at all. ( Now, it's over )

What you will do if your partner's ex girlfriend wants him back?
~~ Personal problem. I don't like to interfere on people's problems.

How deep / far you need your partner?
~~ Just offer me some tissues when I am crying. Just be there whenever I turn back. Just don't make me feel I am all alone. Just simple, right?

How you would like to be?
~~ Like me.

What kind of relationship / partner you want nor wished for?
~~ The relationship make me drive crazy... The one who drive me insane... :)

Are you happy with your current life?
~~ I believe we all only can live if we all happy.. I am happy then!

What's your plan?
~~ Wana be in complete strange place with full of stranger..

Tell more about your future family would be?
~~ Love love love!! happy happy happy..!

What you would like to know?
~~ smiles.. Don't ever ask me! I wish for a moment I don't have any brain.. Just wish I don't know anything..

What you would like to do now?
~~ Strange.. But I want this!

Your last word?
~~ Love me.. :)

A father..

I didn't know well about this relationship as I never get proper chance to enjoy my time with the right person who called father. I seen many types of father but no one is actually touched and distract my mind just like this. The person who is my closed one's father. I am not the person who accept everything in the way is but until now I not able to find any thiny point of negative act in his life from the way he is. And I absorbing him almost more than a year.

I have no rights to talk about him but nothing wrong on sharing some valuable things with others so I writing this. From small I had a perception (now no more) about who called father is just a person who never knew how to fulfill the responsible assigned to him. Believe me I have changed my perception after seen him. He gave that much of impact within me in a year. The same gentleman who erases negative viewpoint of mans from my mind.

I seen thousand many man but none of them impress me in the way they're living. But this strong man does. And made me to say, I want a father like him for my kids. Such a responsibility person for his own, for family, towars his kids and for everyone.

What's make me wonder about him until I spill those words? Until he can be super hero of my life?

He is sickness man. Who really going through hard time on his life. But he is strong man who is really independent. Sports man. Never expect anything from anyone. Respectful man. Patient. Tolerate. Lovingly father. Decent and modern. Factual talking. Practical. Futuristic. Concern. Caring. Strict. Principal oriented. Straight forward. Living in good discipline. Adaptable. Easy to please and forgiving. And the most important thing is he is good knowledgeable person and great consultant.

I like to be a person who able to talk anything A to Z, street lamp to module engine. So I gaining my number knowledge in every field about. I like to explore myself more about, almost in everything. Well I saw a person who able to talk and still talking every single thing around the world is; again him. I happy to see him. He is always cool and calm. The way he is just like Buddha. I should not compare anyone to anyone. But sometime we need to do that to find which is better.

I never thought or missed my dad unless I down. Yes now I missing a father like him. The strong gentleman who I mentioned now, has 4 kids. Should be 4 luckiest kids.

It's not a matter who are you, and the matter is how do you brought yourself up according the time circulation. In this case I would like to say a man, a husband, a father and a human should be like him.

I have a lot stuffs to talk about him but that could be too personal. So here I would like to end this story.

The one I wanted to be..

A R Rehman

AR Rahman: Global tunesmith

Rahman is a composer with a staggering rangeIndian music director AR Rahman's score for Slumdog Millionaire has won an Oscar for best music, and a second for best song. The BBC's Soutik Biswas discusses what makes Rahman tick.

The curiously named Panchathan Record Inn is a nondescript building tucked away in the thriving film district of the southern Indian city of Chennai (Madras). The backyard music studio is also AR Rahman's atelier.

"We make a lot of noise here," one of Rahman's assistants told me wryly when I paid a visit a few years ago. It was late in the evening, and trombone loops floated down the stairs from the state-of-the art studio above.

The "noise" has now conquered the world.
Seventeen years after he began writing music and songs for films, the jingle maker-turned-musician has finally got recognition as India's first truly global film music composer with his score for Danny Boyle's sleeper hit Slumdog Millionaire.
The score is an untidy smorgasbord of hip hop, Bollywood remix and signature pop anthem. But it works because it follows the film's giddy pace, the darkness of its characters, its portrayal of lives on the edge.

Bollywood outsider

The golden statue is a global recognition of Rahman's enormous talent.
Like many film composers, he is not a particularly gifted vocalist or a player. Rahman, instead, is an alchemist of sounds and voices, mixing and melting them in a potion that is usually a joy for the ear and soul.
Rahman is an alchemist of sounds and voices.

It is not surprising then that he is a composer with a staggering range - from raga to reggae to hip hop to Indian rustbelt folk to jungle rhythms to faux baroque. All of it is brewed with an unerring feel for melody, swing and soul.
Rahman, who converted to Islam some 20 years ago, is also India's - and Bollywood's - first truly successful cross-over music director.
Bollywood has filched tunes from the West for as long as I can remember - check out rip-offs from Chuck Berry, The Beatles, swing jazz and vapid disco for many home-grown hit tunes since the 1950s. But Rahman is not your archetypal tune ripper; he is, instead, an intrepid fusion tunesmith.

Rahman says he is impressed with MIA's musicIt helps that he remains the outsider in Bollywood - the world's most incestuous film industry.
Rahman cut his teeth scoring music for southern Indian films in the Telugu and Tamil languages, before scoring for Bollywood. Even this year, he is working on several Tamil and Telugu films, and only two Hindi films.

And that is one of the reasons why the 43-year-old composer has often reached out to little-known new singers and musicians from all over the country to lend their voices and instruments to his songs and score.

Rahman is also globalisation's favourite child, always abreast of the world music that is making waves. No wonder he discovered the music of MIA, aka Maya Arulpragasam, the war child turned feisty alternative rapper, who very few people in India had heard before Slumdog.
Rahman uses MIA's Paper Planes - the singer rapping over a compelling sample riff and a rousing chorus line with gunshots and cash registers jingling in the background - in Slumdog.
"We met before but we never worked before," he told one interviewer. "MIA, she's a real powerhouse. Somebody played me her CD and I thought, who is this girl? She came here and knew all my work, had followed my work for ages. I said cut the crap, this 'idol' crap. You have to teach me. We started working in India, then we e-mailed the track back and forth. She did the vocals in England, I did the rest in India."

Mixing old and new

I am now not surprised that the gritty girl rapper and the reclusive composer bonded so well. I met MIA a couple of years ago on the Jamaica seafront where she was shooting a music video for a new album. The boom box was playing her new song, a noisy mish-mash of what sounded like raucous Tamil gaana - a form of Tamil fast beat slum rap - over hip hop grooves. The Sri Lanka-born Tamil MIA and Rahman share some of the same culture.

The score for Roja was a limpid fusion of raga and reggaeFor the Slumdog score, Rahman says he was mixing the sounds of new and old India. But Slumdog is not even among his top five scores.
The songs and score for Roja (The Rose), a 1992 film directed by Mani Ratnam, is possibly his best and most consistent work to date.

A limpid fusion of raga and reggae, Roja was a breathtaking achievement for a composer taking his first steps in the intensely competitive world of Indian film music.
Working with a number of vocalists, the film's music showcases his talents - fusing flutes, synthesisers and traditional melody to a reggae backbeat and a rolling bass line. Sometimes it felt like listening to The Wailers - Bob Marley's iconic reggae band - playing to Indian vocals. Time magazine called it one of the top 10 movie soundtracks of all time.

From then on, there has been no stopping the Rahman revolution in Indian film music, his best work usually coming with Mani Ratnam, an MBA-turned-filmmaker.
On the Ratnam movie, Bombay, on love and longing in a city torn apart by religious rioting, Rahman's offerings are again rich and varied - from a sweaty, breathless love song by Remo Fernandes to a child chorus ditty to a background score that highlights the bleakness of a city and its people broken by hatred and fighting.

And then, just to pick two films, come the pulsating baroque tunes and sounds in Ratnam's Thiruda Thiruda (Thief, thief) - my favourite Rahman soundtrack.
From there, Rahman travels to fusing swing jazz and smoky blues with pristine Carnatic classical in the political hero biopic, Iruvar, another Ratnam film.
There have been many good soundtracks and songs before and after these two films.

In the end, Rahman, like the best of Indian film music composers, is melody's slave. At his place we had discussed the possibility of a rap musical some day. "I don't think," the alchemist frowned, "rap could sustain a two-hour musical!"

My wishes..

:) quite difficult to say in the way people could understand. I want every my wishes to be get done as my touch, because I want it in that "specific" way and of course there has many many reason why I want to be like that nor things have to be done in that way. My one of best friend told me that I am an idealistic person, I denied. I never agreed at all. I thought I was broad and wise minded but in few matters I have noticed, I being so stubborn and adamant to agree the fact is different from my view or has changed from the fact that I known. I want my things to be done in that "specific" way I wanted to be and never wanted to change my mentality. Well I would say this is not healthy. I aware of it, certainly. I thought I was facing problem because of others doing. I never hesitate to confess my faults or weakness to anyone. Now I felt different kind that I am the one who suppose culpable whenever things went wrong. It's so hard to overcome. I realized all starts from me. So I decided to not talk much; to avoid further problems. But will people got me in right way? I hurt many people. Especially someone who very closed to me. I being so touchy now a days. Most of time I try not to talk back ( a day before my brother told the same according numerology) nor talk within me to avoid problems. But somehow I spelled some words out. I ran out of time to regret why I have done that. I go mad whenever problems arise. No one will stand in this situation. He stands. Don't know how long. We always have quarrels because of this. I react like stranger because I afraid to tell what is running in my mind. I can't adapt everything he tells. I couldn't follow his foot step instead I was very obedient :) I have to change or else I need to walk off in the way I wanted to be. Things has changed. I don't prefer any changes my life unless better improvements.

********just a script********
**this is confession of a girl, in her diary**

Love..

I don't know what is this.. People has already gave thousand many example for this love. For me, it's just another emotion like anger, jealous, happy, moody and etc. I would say this love worse than other feeling. My life tremendously turned to new world. My dreams was sweet, colourful, abnormal, make me feel like the top of the world. I had wonderful feelings for him. As I know love is trust. I don't know about sweet talk, pamper, empty promises. What I know, I belief him. He treats me good. Like a princess? That was very new for me. He cared for me. Something I never felt before very closely. But he walk away from the I feeling I had for him. He was everything to me. But I don't find the closeness. He hides many from me. I tried to convince myself as nothing is there. He told people he never love me. I tried to forget things. He said I shouldn't hope for him. I tried to not hope for him. He was not ready to spend time with me. I tried to not ask anything. I cried and try to read my lines again. I decided to not bug him anymore. Now things changing to good which I don't prefer. Why this love came to me and now controlling my mind as an evil? Well I know what I want. I can't stand with this again. Yes I need to move on with my own life without him but there's something don't let me go on as I am. What was that? He's love or the way he cared for me? But I aware that was not truth but that's sweet. I wanted to tell him straight of, I don't want to be with him. I want to be alone!!! But when I starts think back, the way I lived with him I can't believe I living in fake?! That was so realistic.. He acts good? No he never act. He being himself. I knew that. I noticed he never has feeling for me and seeing me just like another woman. But I was pretending like I understand him well. That was too bitter.. After all I realized onething I would not be happy without him but something strikes to mind, I will be peace without him. But I knew I just console myself by telling that I aware I will lose the peace too. I knew I will think again and again about him.. Us.. The time we had together. It's heals everything. Like now? Yes.. I feel I am the luckiest girl. Memories never dies. That's true. Now I wishing him. Oh my god.. This called love?! I knew within a minutes I will think again the hard times I went thru. I wish I don't want to think about it anymore. I love to feel the way I am. I like to love him.. Let me in this way...


by,
A girl who lost in love..

***just a script**
p/s if nice thts gud, if touched thts better bt if its make you confuse THEN REMEMBER I AM NT THT GIRRRLLLLL!!!

Things..

I don't know what else bothering me so much. I have no hints to find it out. I felt I lost somewhere. I can't (couldn't) explain how about the thingy as I am the one who caused for it. I knew, I disturbed because of me, of course yes. Here no one I should blame. I thought I am strong enough to face everything and everyone. But I am just another loser like every girls do. I messed everything because of my thoughts which not suppose arise. I felt myself as a caused for each and every single things went wrong. Yes I knew, I suffering all because of my own attitudes. I can't act more. I felt like I need to end this but I found there's no way for it. As I knew I ran out of time. Don't know where to attain the happiness that I lost within a second just like a magic? I was like the another lady, in the world and I don't think that anyone having problem similar like me? I believe there's lot of people having problem of course because of their own stupidity but I am so sure there's no one unwilling to correct it. But I couldn't correct it. I heard from people that ladies very good in forgiving and forgetting things as they too soft for them to take so God request them to wipe it thru their tears and make them strong, will ask them to go on whenever they facing problems or trouble. But my God cruel because He let me cry over and over but never teach me to forgive and forgets things. Why I can't concentrate other than in the one I lose? I have no strenght and wonders why me all the time need to read lines. Why I cannot just walk off? I tired of spelling I can't I won't I don't

Things make me think wise ... Hope for the best..

by,
A girl who lost in War

About me..

I am complete easy going person who never care about the minute of her life... For me, everything possible, everything perfect, everything good, everything nice, everything all can be healed ( mind you, even I could say a cancer patient will be cured ).. I don't know why on earth I having this kinda easy-going mentality.. Yet, I know I am happy all because of this attitude..

I like everything in brown, chocolate, colour. Don't ask me, what kinda taste is this.. You will love it if you are with me.. Lot of my friend who become addict of brown because of me..

I love books, mind you I said books not library.. So, I love to read books..

I love to be in jeans and tops.. That will be my favourite dress and ever.. You know what? I preferred half pants too :D But of course, it's depends on, er.. Whatever..

You know I prefer to be alone, maybe I get use to with this! Actually I like silence.. Just say, if I have a boyfriend, I want him to be quiet or keep talking without expecting any response from me.. Of course I love to listen, er it's nice to listen from my loved one.. But basicly, I TALK ALOT! Trust me...

Everyone thinks that I am strict and er, kinda serious person! Well, that's the total tricked! Actually I can make anyone turn freak out! I am such a witty.. ( most of the time I don't agree that I am the one but I know that's me )

Ahh, yes I love to type anything in Times and put in Italic, once I complete my stuffs I will changed to whatever it' has to be.. :)

I am not complicated if you have guts to smile at me..

by,
A girl found herself in you :)