The Me to Him!!

After had so much of pain I decided to leave all these.. I discovered I will change.. But.. Okay, there is a BUT, so.. Yes.. My mind still on him.. Yupe, he is still on my head.. I mean, who is him? Who left me in lurch and ignored or completely forgot me when I desperately needed someone, uhmm not someone but exactly him! Is he so cruel or is me who so fast to forget him?? Is he still deserved better place in my life?

I wana go far away from him and very very far away from for him.. Like he won't able to find me back.. Yes, I wana prove that I am capable of something and I definitely can live without him.. But there's a tiny question.. Can I live happily without him?? The truth is wherever I go I will be haunted down by hes thoughts and etc.. So, what's exactly I am trying to prove here? Most of the time I feel like stupid yet I have to go on and I can't look back or consider on what I want as I left with no options!

Now I just wana make sure that I am not gona left him at same place where he did once.. I will make sure that he is right place before I go anywhere..

I love you more than that you could imagine.. Trust me..

I choose to be..

This is not anymore about love but PRIDE..
This moment I want things let go as the way it is..
I learned a lesson that everything meant to be..
It will back to me if it’s mean to be with.. ( smiles )
Life is full of choice and all is our choice!
I choose not be sober just because of you!!

This is for you.. For my bestie..

I knew I have hurt you by going off from our path and ideas that we planned together.
But you have to understand and accept the fact that, “nothing in this world is certain”. I am not loser or quitter but I just don’t wana have heartache anymore in my life. If I am walking away now, it’s doesn’t mean that I don’t love you or I don’t care about your feelings. But trust me, my girl.. I walking away when you surrounded by people.. I will be always be here when you have no one!! I just need something “called” like recovery session and I will be back with freshen up mind and soul... I knew you for short period but you are my bestie.. This is for you.. 

Don’t say anything if you never want to mean it..

I don’t know why and how people can hurt one and another. You did something, means you have already done it. You should excuse yourself if you wana get over it. Or live with it. There’s no point by hold anything on. I respect you and of course I like you but it’s doesn’t mean I wouldn’t felt on what you doing. My mind going blank whenever you turn off things. Only you and me know what happened between us. I thought that would be wonderful for being with you but I never expect this tremendous fall from you.. Don’t say anything if you never want to mean it!!