That person..

So, love. What a complicated and difficult feeling? You not gonna have any brilliant idea, 'how' did 'that' happened. I still wondering, "which part". Best of mine know this is ridiculous, and the worst of mine did not wanna have any trouble. And rest of mine knew the fact I have fallen. Love is not allowing yourself into chance and got into relationship but being together all the time without realising it and not leaving each other when there's lot of chances for exit. It's just a beautiful garden but we preferred to hide ourself in bushes insteads of enjoy our moments with blossom. Love is knowing your best and worst. Isn't cool if he could remember your best friend's name and puppy's bread? It's a gift to be with someone who know us better than you assume, that person that you would never lie even you have choices. That person, you never wanted to perform any drama. That person, you want to update every tiny stuffs. That person, you wanted to keep in touch for not any specific deal. That person, who you wanted to be there. That person, you will get miniature jealous when with others. That person, you can't stand if not fine! If that's the person.. This person will never take advantage on you. This person, will not bother about ego. This person, will wait for you. This person, will never make you jealous. This person, never want to put you down. This person, will never fail to check if everything ok with you. This person, will never quest or doubt on you. This person, will never need length explanation. This person, will never need certificate about you. This person, will never try to judge you! If this is the person, your life is complete! Maybe this is what they called as Angel and I started to believing it..

Love

If had a chance to think about me just remember I love you and forever.. Nothing can replace your presences in my life.. I don't have answer for how and why but that's only left for me continue my faith on earth.. If had one more chance, I would tell you how much you mean for me, how much I wanted to be with you.. How precious you are.. How important you are.. Would seek your forgiveness for rest of my life..

Love you forever..

Dear Love (You),

Dear Love,

How you doing? Hope everything going well with you.. Sweetheart.. I know I would have over reacted.. Sometimes you need to be generous to forgive a poor girl who did things with no intentions..

You told me, you know me - even you didn't, I know you does.. Perhaps you wouldn't wanna know further.. Yes, but there's always some things left with no clue which may lead to complications or better solutions or an ending.. I never need a solution or complications.. Likely, an ending, a blessed one..

I never really wonder why things weren't right for us. Maybe I love you alot to face any consequence. Maybe I knew the consequence.. Maybe I don't wanna know anything.. Maybe all I want to know is you and no other thing.. I knew we weren't prepared for anything.. We were happy and celebrating our infinity.. Wish we could celebrate this best moment until end of our life.. Or should have celebrated the best of it..

I never want you to be perfect, no, not at all.. Just be the right one for me.. Be with me as though this is our last day on earth.. Hold me tight.. Keep me close with you.. Let me lay on your arms.. A little space for me to say 'this is mine'.. I still could feel palm of your hand within mine.. My mind says, this is my eternal.. My heart will comply every action of yours without any instructions.. This is the magic that I believe..

Hold on - that's what you said.. Yes, you still and will always hold my magic control and no one could take away from you.. Have it or destroy it but don't ever have a thought of give me back.. You can't.. You can't reverse or undone anything, my love.. You had all my love.. Took everything from my soul and rhythm.. You could never reverse any of our part that we played perfectly..

I know I don't speak a word, never ever try to attain anything back.. I just want to continue from the moment we pause it.. I don't want any explanations, tears, scene, regrets, words but just a perfect dream that we had..

I don't have any hope, my love.. Maybe, I don't have anymore left.. Maybe I would have left.., a little? Don't worry about me.. Do not care what others think about you even what I think about you.. Take my words, when I think about you - my mind works as if it's yours. And you always right even you are at the other side of practical. Your happiness is my priority.. I know you.. Never worry about anything, me..

Do not wonder, what I will do without your presence in this space.. I will always love you, wishing you, and thinking of you.. Yes, I know I am such a lovely soul, love every single person in this world but all I wanted to be with, is you and only. No one else.. Love, I only allowed to love you.. I can't pause or resume or delete your memories.. You are precious and I know you.. This is all yours, dear..

Yours,
Love..

You, Me

My balcony, the forest, the stars, the silence, the music, the warm and me.. =)


They : Why are you so happy? Dancing and SMILING.. That's so.. *smiles..* What's up, girl?

Me : I am thinking of him..

They : Uhmmm.. :/

Me : He's.. Everything so beautiful about him..

They : You are.. Speechless..

Me : I don't want him but I need him to smile and cry.. He's my only reason and cause.. =) You wouldn't know this. Because you don't know him.. He's so right for me..

The Me to Him!!

After had so much of pain I decided to leave all these.. I discovered I will change.. But.. Okay, there is a BUT, so.. Yes.. My mind still on him.. Yupe, he is still on my head.. I mean, who is him? Who left me in lurch and ignored or completely forgot me when I desperately needed someone, uhmm not someone but exactly him! Is he so cruel or is me who so fast to forget him?? Is he still deserved better place in my life?

I wana go far away from him and very very far away from for him.. Like he won't able to find me back.. Yes, I wana prove that I am capable of something and I definitely can live without him.. But there's a tiny question.. Can I live happily without him?? The truth is wherever I go I will be haunted down by hes thoughts and etc.. So, what's exactly I am trying to prove here? Most of the time I feel like stupid yet I have to go on and I can't look back or consider on what I want as I left with no options!

Now I just wana make sure that I am not gona left him at same place where he did once.. I will make sure that he is right place before I go anywhere..

I love you more than that you could imagine.. Trust me..

I choose to be..

This is not anymore about love but PRIDE..
This moment I want things let go as the way it is..
I learned a lesson that everything meant to be..
It will back to me if it’s mean to be with.. ( smiles )
Life is full of choice and all is our choice!
I choose not be sober just because of you!!

This is for you.. For my bestie..

I knew I have hurt you by going off from our path and ideas that we planned together.
But you have to understand and accept the fact that, “nothing in this world is certain”. I am not loser or quitter but I just don’t wana have heartache anymore in my life. If I am walking away now, it’s doesn’t mean that I don’t love you or I don’t care about your feelings. But trust me, my girl.. I walking away when you surrounded by people.. I will be always be here when you have no one!! I just need something “called” like recovery session and I will be back with freshen up mind and soul... I knew you for short period but you are my bestie.. This is for you.. 